After being told that writing may be what was keeping me present in the trauma, I took a hiatus. Unfortunately the trauma is still present and now he thinks writing again may help. So, here I am. Trauma still very much present and at times, still very much in shock that he could do what … Continue reading He thinks I should write again *TRIGGER WARNING*
With all of the stress in life lately, and frankly, over the last at least 4 years with Mr. Perfect, I don't know how I've kept it all together. One thing I've noticed since Mr. Perfect has been home from his 3 1/2 week stay at the hospital is that I'm overly critical of him … Continue reading Keeping myself in check
It's been a while since I posted an update, and it's mostly because things are still improving 🙂 big yay! Recovering from the betrayal nightmare takes a lot of time, patience and effort from both partners. It's not 100% yet, I still look at him at times and can't believe he did what he did, … Continue reading Friends and Values
I've been thinking a lot about the forgiveness struggle we betrayed all face if we are attempting a reconciliation after the discovery of betrayal. It is a HUGE struggle and is why I believe we feel "stuck" most of the time. The struggle feels like a torturous tug of war of emotions, and our internal … Continue reading Forgiveness of the human vs. Acceptance of your lovers heinous acts
As we continue to navigate through this shit hole Mr. Perfect dug for us, and as I continue to process and become desensitized to all of the trauma that ensues after one is betrayed, I realized that maybe joking about how utterly ridiculous his actions were may bring more peace and less pain to me, … Continue reading I finally laughed
I've been quiet in the blog world lately. I have a lot going on with family at the moment, but the major reason for my silence is that I'm actually starting to feel more like myself - and I like it. The other thing I'm starting to feel is "like" again for Mr. Perfect. Pre-ddays, … Continue reading Like, is the new feeling
Everything seems to be going fine and falling into place, and then BAM! Anxiety. Mr. Perfect and I had couples counselling last week which was wholly focused on the paralyzing anxiety he's been experiencing for the last month and a half, and it's only getting worse. He is always very teary when he says he … Continue reading Why now, anxiety?