Those oh so lovely little Triggers

I hate these triggers. Hate isn't even a strong enough word for how they make me feel, and then how I feel about my reactions and behaviours. Mr. P is applying for a job (that he retrained for all on his own, which is amazing) after being off for a year due to a mental … Continue reading Those oh so lovely little Triggers

Keeping myself in check

With all of the stress in life lately, and frankly, over the last at least 4 years with Mr. Perfect, I don't know how I've kept it all together. One thing I've noticed since Mr. Perfect has been home from his 3 1/2 week stay at the hospital is that I'm overly critical of him … Continue reading Keeping myself in check

Friends and Values

It's been a while since I posted an update, and it's mostly because things are still improving 🙂 big yay! Recovering from the betrayal nightmare takes a lot of time, patience and effort from both partners. It's not 100% yet, I still look at him at times and can't believe he did what he did, … Continue reading Friends and Values

Forgiveness of the human vs. Acceptance of your lovers heinous acts

I've been thinking a lot about the forgiveness struggle we betrayed all face if we are attempting a reconciliation after the discovery of betrayal. It is a HUGE struggle and is why I believe we feel "stuck" most of the time. The struggle feels like a torturous tug of war of emotions, and our internal … Continue reading Forgiveness of the human vs. Acceptance of your lovers heinous acts

I finally laughed

As we continue to navigate through this shit hole Mr. Perfect dug for us, and as I continue to process and become desensitized to all of the trauma that ensues after one is betrayed, I realized that maybe joking about how utterly ridiculous his actions were may bring more peace and less pain to me, … Continue reading I finally laughed

Like, is the new feeling

I've been quiet in the blog world lately. I have a lot going on with family at the moment, but the major reason for my silence is that I'm actually starting to feel more like myself -  and I like it. The other thing I'm starting to feel is "like" again for Mr. Perfect. Pre-ddays, … Continue reading Like, is the new feeling

Why now, anxiety?

Everything seems to be going fine and falling into place, and then BAM! Anxiety. Mr. Perfect and I had couples counselling last week which was wholly focused on the paralyzing anxiety he's been experiencing for the last month and a half, and it's only getting worse. He is always very teary when he says he … Continue reading Why now, anxiety?