She was the one who did ______.

Sunday evenings are our mandatory family dinner nights and I look forward to them every week. No matter what, we enforce this as mandatory attendance (unless there’s an emergency of course).

Yesterday I was up at 5am because I had to go the hospital to be with my Step-Mom as my Dad – who is confirmed to have bladder cancer (☹️☹️☹️) – had to do the weekly maintenance at his restaurant. Since my Step-Mom received the devastating news in December that there was no more treatment available for her, my loyal Dad has not left her side except to do the weekly maintenance on Sundays which takes about 5 hours to do, and has to be done super early before the restaurant opens. He sleeps on a little cot in her hospital room, making sure he’s in her sight just in case she opens her eyes for a moment when she’s sleeping. He’s truly incredible.

By the time I got home at 3pm I was exhausted but I still made a nice dinner and we all decided to watch a move. By 7pm, I was sleeping yet still aware as I could still hear Kill Bill playing in the background.

I had the strangest dream as I laid back on the recliner with my heated blanket. Mr. Perfect and I were not too far out from D-day and I asked him about something I remembered (trying to connect the dots), and which one of the names I saw on the phone list was the one involved in the “something I remembered” and he said “I’m not going to tell you the name, but she was the one who did ______”.

______ was said over and over in my dream but as soon as I woke up I couldn’t remember what _____ was. I can read lips and even replayed the dream in my head but every time ______ was said, the lips stopped moving. I even tried going back to sleep to see if I could go back to the dream, but I couldn’t.

I’ll never know what ______ is, but I can’t stop thinking about it.

WTF is ______?

I guess ______ is just another something I’ll need to “get over”. UGH.

13 thoughts on “She was the one who did ______.

  1. I know right! I’m so tired of having all these flashbacks and memories, all these things I keep remembering out of the blue – like you said just something else to have to get over! ❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to worry anyone. I finally just had a breakdown, it probably won’t be the last one 🤪

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I know after what happened with you, I wondered if that may have been the reason 😱😂 like we need help freakin out!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. All the finer details of the big betrayal. I’ve been wondering what the point is on me dwelling on what happened when and where, and where I was at the time. I can’t go back in time and stop it. Still, I dwell, as we all seem to do.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely, and I do it so I’m in the know and so there’s no more “lovey-dovey” secrets between them and so I don’t feel he’s protecting one of them. I know there’s a thousand more reasons but that’s the main one for me. It sucks.

      How are things with you Jack? How’s your health?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m doing okay. I still have to follow up on my heart issues but it doesn’t seem to be a major issue so I’m not so worried about it anymore.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s